He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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