Please, let me fuck your mom
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
