It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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