i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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