dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Randomize
