I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
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