yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Randomize
