Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
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