when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
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