Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
Randomize
