Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
my mom just threw water on me to get me awake and is screaming "where is my fucking car?!"
you gave me a ride last nite what the hell did you do with it after you left me?
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
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