Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
Acid is not a monday night drug
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Randomize
