I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Randomize
