What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
