I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
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I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
