Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
Randomize
