She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize