Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
Randomize
