I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
I could make wine with my vomit
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Randomize
