Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
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