Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
Randomize
