There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
Randomize
