When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
Randomize
