Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Randomize
