I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
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