Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Randomize
