Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
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