oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
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