i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Randomize
