It's like God shit irony all over that family
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
