Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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