What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
Randomize
