Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
