Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
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