you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
