Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize