if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
You are a booty call, not a friend.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Randomize
