That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
