Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
Randomize
