DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
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