We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
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