How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
Randomize
