God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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