I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
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