All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
I see more hoeing in ur future
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