He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
Randomize
