I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Randomize
