Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
Randomize
