Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
they need to just BURY HIM!
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Randomize