I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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