I can't watch pbs sober anymore
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
Randomize
