I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Randomize
