My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
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