it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
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