Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
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