I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
