It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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