How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Randomize
